New ponies in the stables...
Got a bit fancy with the composition there.
Lookit! This is maybe the 3rd time I've dared to use a bead wire and crimps. When this one sells I'll probably have some kind of panic attack in fear of them breaking and the buyer hating me forever. The first time I took up jewelry I strung a necklace and then just as I was adding the last crimp, the whole thing broke and beads went everywhere and I swore a lot and didn't pick it up again for 8 years. See I was reading something or talking to someone not long ago, and it turns out you need special pliers to set the crimps! I KNOW! I was just squashing them with the regular pliers.
My therapist called me 'hyper-responsible' the other day. I initially thought it was a compliment (and it is in a way) but he was trying to point out how I think everything around me is my job, even if it isn't. And I can find ways to make something my fault or my responsibility, it's like I'm constantly expecting people to say 'look! Look at that! That's your fault, why don't you do something about it?'
Which is very tiring. Because not only do I try to do everyone else's
job, but I actively look for things to take responsibility for, and that includes the people I live with- who are perfectly capable of looking after themselves. Oddly
enough when it comes to my own needs, I tend to ignore them constantly.
Other people always come first. I'll be fine- I'll deal with it, I'm flexible, I'm water.
When I do take time to look at myself, it's critical. Making note of what I do wrong rather than what's going right. I feel the compulsive need to push myself to always be doing something to help me get where I want to go. Self-improvement, efficiency, organisation, responsibility.
Dawn of Heaven
And the funny thing is...I don't feel like I ever achieve any of it. Always the sensation of running in circles.Wasting time. I don't know where I'm going with this- but I'm supposed to share this crap and it feels rude to have a shop update post with no words in between, so...conclusion.
And the funny thing is...I don't feel like I ever achieve any of it. Always the sensation of running in circles.Wasting time. I don't know where I'm going with this- but I'm supposed to share this crap and it feels rude to have a shop update post with no words in between, so...conclusion.
11 comments:
In love with the reappearance of your brooches and cuffs. Such lovely weathered soft tones. Hooray on the stringing and crimping. If it wasn't for shipwreck dandy helping me with tips I would still be avoiding crimping myself. It is odd how we are so hard on ourselves, your explanation of hyper-responsible raises some deep questions on fault, blame and our own internal critic.
That last bit made me loose bowel control omg. i love to hear your insights on your feels, actually.
also, the crimp necklace made me so happy b/c it reminded me of some very beady things i was looking at in my sold section, tho obviously much sparrowier. and a fucking hell of a lot better photographed.
One of the first necklaces I made and sold came apart, not at the crimp because I had taken a crimping class--yep I did) but it turns out no one ever told me what gauge of jump rings to use and the one I used was just too flimsy. The woman has never purchased from me since.....
Your pieces are fabulous, as is your photography !!!!
And by the way, I'm a bit like you in feeling responsible for eveything. Of course it sets me up for failure every time and you would think I would learn, but I'm close to turning 50 and still have not learned to just let go. Now when my husband does this I think he is just being controlling....
Beautiful earrings...all.
And I love the necklace....
Crimp pliers and the smallest crimps you can get away with. Don't use silver crimps they're not strong enough. Loving the watercolours, beautiful and in awe of that necklace.
I've always avoided the crimping too. Always seemed like little sharp bits snagging out of them even when I used the honest to god crimper. Now I always just uses bigger hole beads at the ends of my necklaces and thread the excess back thru after I knot it. So far so good. .
That cuff is oh so sweet and soft and I'm in love with what you've done.
Thanks for sharing your raw journey and feels with us. I think you're quite brave and hope that in some we we're a help in your recovery. You astound me in so many regards. Seems like there must be a crimping metaphor in there somewhere.
xo
I love the crystals on Nazca and your crimped strand as well! It's amazing how many jewelry people hate/avoid the crimp--I was one of them too until I had great advice on using the right supplies. Crimping pliers like you said of course, and the tube shaped crimps (vs. the round, beady ones.) I really get into crimping now. It goes so quickly.
The feels--from what you've described, it sounds like you do a lot of intellectualizing and spend a lot of time in your head. There are a lot of benefits of course and you seem very self aware and honest in a healthy and rare way--but unchecked it can easily turn into second-guessing, overanalyzing and overexamination, idealizing, and 'questing.' None of which are terrible qualities if you can recognize the dynamics and apply strategically or dismiss.
Always love to see your work... and hear about your inner work.
You are such a talented woman.
And brave. It's not an easy, to do the inner work, but so worth it in the end, which is when we leave this planet. And it does get better along the way.
Kudos to you, dear Penny!
Angela Mahler
wow...hey we have the same hang-ups...wish i had me a therapist to help cause i’m a craz ee lady...in my head pretend conversations...no wonder i never know where anything is like keys, unpaid bills...ya da ya da...
so what do we do? let me know if ya ever figger it out...c
I just Love your Assemblage Creations... especially the Cuff Bracelets. A Visual Feast and for someone who Adores Vintage Fabrics, it is Inspirational to see the Creative use of even the smallest of Beautiful remnants.
Merry Christmas from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian
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